• The Ironman Ballad

    Laura Winder 5Courtesy of Laura Winder – #thetrilifereporter – month 4

    To be sung to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger”

     

    Risin’ up

    From my warm bed

    It’s like torture I tell you

    What’m I doing gettin’ up at this time

    When the rest of the world is asleep

     

    Glancing back

    Boyfriend is warm

    Snuggled up under duvet

    I’m ambivalent I’m totally torn

    I must fight just to walk out the door

     

    It’s the

    Fight of the Ironman

    That we do every day

    It’s the voice that says “hit that old snooze button”

    It’s the fight against laziness

    The battle with sloth

    And I find myself cursing the liiiiiiiiiife

     

    Of the Ironman

     

    At the lake

    Ice underfoot

    Crunchy steps, frozen tootsies

    Smell of neoprene and puffing of breath

    As I struggle to pull up my suit

     

    Goggles on

    Jumpin’ straight in

    Takes my breath, sucks my courage

    Another minute and the water feels warm

    And I’m swimmin’ and grinnin’ with pride

     

    It’s the

    Swim of the Ironman

    It’s the thrill of the dive

    Into deep, scummy, swan-infested waters

    And we down coke to kill the bugs and keep us alive

    To emerge from the lake and surviiiiiiiive

     

    For the Ironman

     

    On the bike

    Quads burning deep

    Sweating loads, feeling hungry

    Chomp a Powerbar and pee on myself

    This is tough, this is nasty, it’s hell

     

    Reach the top

    Gasping for air

    So damn ripe for the downhill

    I’m going aero now I’m pullin’ away

    This is life and I’m lovin’ the ride

     

    It’s the

    Bike of the Ironman

    And it’s only the brave

    Who can take saddle soreness and keep smilin’

    And the hard core are pushing though, they’re suckin’ it up

    Cos the miles and the pain are the caaaaaaallll

     

    Of the Ironman

     

    On the run

    Rubbery legs

    Muscles ache, joints are screaming

    Skinny b*stard laps me I’m so darn slow

    I must fight just to stay in the race

     

    Second lap

    I’m going to win

    Like I’ve always been dreamin’

    The crowds are cheering and I high five the kids

    One more mile to the finishin’ line

     

    It’s the

    Run of the Ironman

    And the day’s turned to night

    And I’m fighting to beat that old broom wagon

    And it’s mine for the taking and I know I’m all right

    Cross the line, medal’s mine, feeling fiiiiiiiine
    I’m an Ironman